She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
