Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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