think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
