no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
