haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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