It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I intend to get homeless drunk
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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