I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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