lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
