The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
