Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize