And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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