I look better un-naked...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
