I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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