somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
