even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
