that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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