Got a toothbrush?
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Dicks are not precious.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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