Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Of course I have a pirate flag
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
