Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
as a side note pls kill me
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
