She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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