Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
