gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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