I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
