So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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