Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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