i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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