I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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