Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize