so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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