The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
