just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Randomize
