I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
