Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
