My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
