how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
