fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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