Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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