He is like the real live version of the state fair..
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
These tits shall not be calmed
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