Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
