im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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