i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
