woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
