Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
