Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
