Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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