Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
is this the sara with the beer cane?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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