woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
