I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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