I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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