Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
