A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
