and you said cock pushups were impossible
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
