pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
