Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have fence marks all over my body
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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