The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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