ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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