i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
