I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
