I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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